If I were named poet laureate

If I were named poet laureate
I would put it on my tombstone
Print it in my obituary
Place gold stickers on all my books

If the powers that be could somehow see
Fit to name me to this great honor
I’d do what I could for haiku
Representing rhyme all the time

I can only imagine the wondrous glory
Open doors as head of poetry
VIP invites to all the best happenings
My face and girlfriend smiling on TMZ

I’d be sure to annotate all my flyers
My web page and personal stationery
Do you think the paparazzi will ever leave me alone?
Could I manage a talk show on BookTV?

If I were named poet laureate
I would straighten up my act
Practice narrow footfalls on the good path
Jump on the wagon and never go back